


failure

by MikazukiMunechika305



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 01:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11281038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikazukiMunechika305/pseuds/MikazukiMunechika305
Summary: {For a moment it was completely silent. Then, when he continued speaking, Hijikata’s voice sounded a little stronger again. “Keep watch in front of Souji’s room. I’m leaving him in your hands; do whatever you deem necessary to keep him there. Don’t let him follow us, and make sure he lives for as long as possible.”}But it had always been clear that they'd fail at keeping Okita where he was--in his room, on his futon, to keep living on just a little longer.





	failure

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right before the battle at Koufu Castle. It probably doesn't make any sense timeline-wise since I assume they probably all went there together, but please just imagine it could make a little sense, okay? ^^" I just got this idea after repeatedly listening to "Give Me The Power" from Heisuke's musical, and this is what became of it.

When Harada and Nagakura had left them, Saitou lifted his glance off the ground. “Hijikata-san,” he quietly spoke up. He knew the question he was about to ask would probably worsen the already dark mood that was hanging above them like a black cloud; but he had to know.  
“What about Souji?”  
Hijikata froze momentarily. Then he took a deep breath. “You know already, don’t you?”  
Saitou had wanted to hear it from him; he’d wanted to get an order regarding his best friend. He’d wanted to be told what would happen to Okita—but the only reply he got was this, and he knew that if he had been asked this in Hijikata’s stead, he wouldn’t have been able to say anything else.  
Slowly, he lowered his head again. “That means we are going to leave him here in our headquarters, am I right?”  
Hijikata’s scowl deepened. “We need him. If I could afford it, I’d let him come along.”  
That was a Y _eah, he’ll stay here,_ like Saitou had expected it. “As you wish, Hijikata-san.” He turned away and was about to leave when the commander called him back.  
“Saitou!”  
Saitou didn’t turn back because he could hear the exasperation and exhaustion in his voice, and he didn’t need to see Hijikata’s face to know what the older man was feeling. “Yes?”  
For a moment it was completely silent. Then, when he continued speaking, Hijikata’s voice sounded a little stronger again. “Keep watch in front of Souji’s room. I’m leaving him in your hands; do whatever you deem necessary to keep him there. Don’t let him follow us, and make sure he lives for as long as possible.”  
After a second of consideration, Saitou decided to turn back to him after all. He locked eyes with Hijikata and then bowed deeply. “I will.”

When he stopped in front of Okita’s room, Saitou could hear the sounds of someone preparing to decamp; drawers being closed, clothes being folded, the steps of someone walking around and gathering their most important belongings, and in between, occasional small coughs and heavy breathing.  
His friend was preparing to leave, and Saitou knew he had to stop him.  
He slid the door open without knocking, which was something he very rarely did, but in this case, he didn’t want to give Okita the opportunity to hide his true intentions from him.  
The older man was just taking his first steps towards the door, and an expression of surprise hushed across his face before he could suppress it.  
“Where do you think you are going?” Saitou had to put a little effort into making his voice sound as calm and indifferent as it usually was.  
Okita smirked sadly. “Isn’t that obvious? To Koufu Castle, of course. The others are fighting, and I have to join them there.”  
_You don’t have to._  
Saitou’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re going to disobey Hijikata-san’s orders.”  
“Hajime-kun, this is the one order I absolutely _can’t_ obey.” Okita’s voice sounded as frustrated and exasperated as it hadn’t sounded in a very long time. “I have to go.”  
“With a body like that?” _Destroyed as it is already, you’re not going to last long anyways._  
“I will. It’s all I can do.”  
Saitou’s hand moved from a resting position to clench around the hilt of his sword.  
“Oh?” The sound was more of a helpless chuckle than anything else. Okita rose one eyebrow and slowly gestured towards his own sword. “Do you have orders to kill me if I don’t follow mine?”  
If only it was like that. Saitou would have a reason to hesitate, then. “No, my orders are to keep you alive.”  
The tiny smirk that, without any sadness this time, lifted the corners of Okita’s mouth clearly showed how much he had missed moving around with a sword in his hands. “Is that so? This is going to be interesting, then.”  
His strikes when he lunged at Saitou were still powerful and fast; he was in very good shape for someone who had been withering away in their room for as long as he had.  
The warrior in him hadn’t given in yet, but Saitou knew he had to stop him. He wasn’t even going all out here, although even with holding back, he felt drained both physically and emotionally. This wasn’t what he wanted.  
Finally making up his mind, he lifted the hilt of his sword.  
Okita’s face expressed a little surprise at that, but it quickly changed to an expression of pain when Saitou aimed for his ribcage and lunged at it with the hilt of his sword.  
Okita collapsed to his knees, his forehead coming to rest against the floor almost immediately, desperately trying to fight back the bout of coughing that hit him. “That… that was… a dirty trick… Hajime-kun—”  
Maintaining his stoic look felt harder than ever before, but Saitou somehow managed to do it. “I was told to do whatever I deem necessary to keep you here.”  
“Yeah, that—does sound like Hijikata-san…” Okita’s eyes fell closed while he was still trying to calm himself. “But… there must be something—something I can do! Just… anything!”  
Saitou leaned down to help his friend up and lead him back to the futon. “Stay here, Souji. That would be the biggest help for us.”  
That sad smirk returns to Okita’s lips. “I told you… that’s the one thing… I _can’t_ do.”  
The younger man remains silent for a few seconds. “You have been told to stay here so many times, even by Kondou-san himself. Why can’t you…”  
“Ah… yeah, you’re right.” This response came so quickly that Saitou should have known there was something wrong with it. “I guess I’ll just stay for a while. I mean, Kondou-san _did_ order me to do that, too.”

Saitou still kept watch in front of Okita’s room, just like Hijikata had ordered him to. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him; he just wanted to make sure he _did_ stay.  
And yet, everything came differently than he had expected.  
_Join us at Koufu Castle_ , the letter from Hijikata said, the handwriting on the paper was a little messier than usual, and Saitou couldn’t help but frown at it. _We need you. Leave Souji behind._  
And so he did.  
“Okay,” Okita smiled up at him between his coughs. “If it’s Hijikata-san’s order I have no choice but to stay, right?”  
“You’re really going to stay?” It couldn’t be that easy—it never was, not with Okita.  
But the older man just chuckled amusedly. “Hajime-kun really doesn’t trust me, huh? I’ll send you letters about what’s happening here, then, so you know I’m still here. Does that sound good?”  
It would also be a way to prove that he was still alive, so Saitou agreed.

Saitou knew he had failed to protect Okita when an envoy caught up with him two days later, telling him that “when we went to check on him yesterday, Okita-san was gone!”  
He met up with Hijikata a day later and told the commander what he’d learned.  
“I know,” Hijikata said, and he sounded exasperated and defeated. “You’re not the only one who failed, Saitou.”  
This truth felt like a heavy pressure on Saitou’s chest, aching and clogging his throat. “Maybe he is on his way here,” he started. _Maybe he’ll make it here._ “Maybe we can still do something—”  
“No, Saitou. Even if he makes it here, we’re not gonna do anything. That’s an order,” Hijikata added when he saw the half-surprised, half-shocked expression ghost over Saitou’s face. “We did all we could for him, and he didn’t want to accept it. Everything we can do now is ending this.”  
Silence.  
Then, finally, Saitou bowed deeply and replied in a voice so calm that it was clear he was forcing himself to sound like this, “Yes, Hijikata-san.”


End file.
